my heart is racing, and my mind is chasing not knowing if this is the end...
She tells me it's not, but will she endure and overcome just one more.
Or will she throw in the towel like everyone has done. It's not her fault yet she blames herself.
I don't know what to say I feel stuck between a rock and a thousand blades coming closer and closer... well you know how this will end. I started bleed now but that's okay.
My mind: you're a horrible boyfriend you know?
Me: you can say that again!
you can't even help her or even calm her in times of need.
but wait! blood purifies!
At least that's what they say hoping this will end. I am far from worthy enough to be the sacrifice, but I placed myself here, so no one has to. No more blood and tears let mine be the last to fall and cry you'll ever hear.
I'm feeling cold now my clothes are drenched, I'm really shaky is it anxiety or a heart attack.
life's flashing before me and in that glimpse, I never thought I relived...
boohoo ...
you're to dramatic you little bitch.
your good for nothing just a wasted space.
you were adopted you don't belong here.
you fat piece of shit
Why can't you be like your brother
how did reading that make you feel. not good right?
the Folks of a fairytale living in peace you would think its goldilocks and the 3 bears but NOPE not me. you see I know this family to well I see the sharp teeth only hungry for themselves but will never admit defeat. they want to "protect" each other but you can't fool me.
growing up with a brother who I was inseparable with now we are strangers living in the same space. I like to say I want to mend things but all I want to do is destroy his face. he's hurt me in more ways than one but now I can't forgive him because the damage has been done.
You can say I was born on the wrong side of luck; I've lost my heart more often than I'm proud to admit by a family and friends who never gave a shit. but you darling please don't lose hope I see a future with you even if I lose it all.
I've helped strangers before them they yelled at me like had sinned... how can I help the people that have hurt me most. I feel burred and seen as a ghost. lost in space and time. passing on through.
until you came along and asked what's wrong with you. I answered me as I pointed at my chest.
you: yeah you!
Me: yeah, I'm alright (a million different things crossing my mind)
I can't believe it! someone too the time and seen me for who I am. but now reality came and back to today...
love don't give up on me don't lose sight of me if you do, I don't know what I will do. I have an awful feeling that my gut may be right. things are hard yes but don't give up now. life has just begun, and I feel like it shouldn't be done! I'd fight every war and hell to be with you, I hope you stay and fight for me and you...
Comments