In the broken world we live in full of hurts, manipulation, no communication skills, I'm right your wrong mindsets, zero effort, etc... the list goes on and on...
It makes it so hard to trust and surrender/ summit to your other half. We live in a day in age where its "cool" to cheat and hurt others just to make ourselves feel better instead of dealing with our issues head on or even taking responsibilities of our actions and way of living.
How to overcome not trusting your partner:
1.) Be open, acknowledge feelings and practice being vulnerable.
- If you have an insecurity voice it to your partner, learn to understand what emotion you are feeling when he/she does something you don't like or trust.
2.) Assume your partner had good intentions.
- If your partner lets you down, it may not be intentional. it could be a simple mistake we are human, or you haven't voiced what makes you feel uncomfortable.
3.) BE HONEST and communicate key issue you have that may question your relationship.
- Evaluate your relationship and reflect on how things are going, if there are any unresolved issues make time to clear the air. Like have they not respected your boundaries? there action isn't lining up to their promises/ words.
Don't let any issue go without resolving them or it may become a nasty cycle until it cleared up even cause more trust issues then you began with and understand both views and come to a mutual understanding.
4.) acknowledge how past hurts may trigger mistrust in the present.
- really ask yourself is my lack of trust due to my partner's actions, my own insecurities, or both. Also, in this step be aware if unresolved issues from past relationships that can trigger mistrust.
5.) Listen to your partners side of the story.
- look out through there window (point of view). when you bring it up to them let them know or ask how did you see this situation? what is your prospective? How did you experience this?
6.) Trust your intuition.
- Pay attention to any red flags that may be raised. If your gut is warning you, don't let that settle or go. Speak up. ask questions. If you let it harbor it will become a thorn in your relationship.
(But remember weight your odds and see if it's an actual intuition or is it your mind that got triggered from past experiences)
Important!!!
7.) Practice repair after a argument.
- Don't forget to take a break if it gets to overwhelming... set a time to allow yourself and partner to process what has happened. this will allow you both to cool down and recollect your thoughts back into a more approachable tone and mindset to come to conclusion and apologize for any wrongs committed.
8.) Know what you say to and want from your partner is not a sign of needy-ness.
- We get so ANGRY and FRUSTRATED with our partners we they don't meet our needs. But have you stopped and asked yourself. Have I made my needs and desires clear? have I let them know how my needs can be met? Our partners are not mind readers we need to learn to communicate and VOICE "hey I would like it if you did more of _____ because I need/ desire more _____"
whether it is physical, emotional, spiritual, verbal, comfort, or even space.
Those were a few steps in my personal relationship my partner and I take when we come to disagreements with our trust, values, boundaries, or our needs that we need to be met in order to feel loved and appreciated.
Let's say your trust has been broken but you want to rebuild it
- make time to communicate on how each other feel after you or your partner has broken the trust in the relationship.
- listen to each other without judgement, each of you describe your views and discuss what triggered the emotions you may be currently feeling or felt when it happened.
- Once you both realize how you both contributed to the issue take responsibility for your words and actions.
- As you realize the wrongs, apologize from a place of genuineness and accept each other's apologies and start the mending process.
- Make a plan to prevent further breaches of trust from occurring, set boundaries for each other and learn to sacrifice for each other and the relationship you BOTH want!
I'm far from perfect my girlfriend will tell you but something I know I can honestly say I'm good at is I'm honest, straight forward, and after cooling down I apologies for my wrongs as well as she. She also has strengths that play a great role on overcoming each obstacle, breach of boundaries, and trust issues that have arisen from our past or each other's past.
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