Worry, my second biggest enemy in my personal life. I can speak for myself about this topic personally because the ones who know me know inside this tough shell exterior I worry way too much. The older folks always have a stupid comment like "at that age there is only so much worry you could have" as they chuckle and laugh... But boy are they wrong. the list is endless that constantly haunts me. My future being the main concern above all else. I'm trying to worry less and finding way to debrief and live in the moment but no matter what I do I tend to go back and its exhausting in all honesty.
Your boy is tired dudes...
I wish it had a light switch I can turn off at any giving moment, I would but unfortunately it doesn't. You can say its self-inflicted torment.
So many will I's in my mind its cluttering, for example.
- Will I ever get my breakthrough?
- Will I ever be enough?
- Will I become successful like I want to be?
- Will I ever get in A better place financially for me and my future family?
- Will I even be a great husband and dad?
- Will I just get my hopes up and lose everything with the person I love?
- Will I ever reach my goal physically?
- Will I ever learn not to say the wrong things? what did I do wrong?
- Will I always be the person who gets used temporally then thrown to the side (referring in all areas in life)?
- Etc...
Yup, that's just the bare minimum I let you know of. It's a constant nasty cycle that has gone farther then it should be and being real it still happens till this day. They say worry comes from caring too much and lack Of's in your childhoods whether it was lack of father/ mother love, reassurance, love and care, finances, etc... But I don't know I think its deeper than that. I think it's your soul being hungry for more than what's in front of you. It's like a need to be great or owning it to yourself to be better and great to prove to you and the ones who failed you wrong.
Oh, and don't let me start with standards that life and people in your life have for you to meet or surpass. They cause more stress then to be helpful in life specially for overthinkers like myself.
It's an everyday fight to feel successful or even accomplished/ satisfied in your life, relationships, family, mind, and job.
This is what is heavy on my heart and mind lately. it will get better eventually it's just the struggles in life we can't help or prevent, I love you guys here's to living in the moment the best we can.
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